Can you believe I’ve written 100 posts since I started this blog over a year ago?
Makes me feel very accomplished and excited.
I figured the best way to celebrate such feelings is by unveiling a surprise to you!
Do you know what it is?
Can you guess?
You’re probably wrong…
Or are you?
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
Because nothing will be the same after I tell you this secret…..
Do you want me to just get on with it already?
Here we go.
Let’s see, how do I say this…
There are so many ways, you know, I just can’t quite choose one.
How about a riddle?
What’s small, squishy, and growing inside my uterus?
Yeah!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Celebration everywhere all over the place!!!!
It’s funny, because when I was crying about not being pregnant, I was pregnant.
And when I was reading oodles of pregnancy books and making fists of frustration that it wasn’t ME who was pregnant, those fists were coursing with hCG, because I was PREGNANT.
Can you believe it!?!?!?
Thank you to everyone who wished and hoped that it would happen for me, because it did!!
I consider Husband and I very lucky, actually, because it took only two periods and then BAM I was pregnant.
Not on a whim, though.
We did a lot of practice to make this happen.
Even when I had the worst ovulation cramps ever.
I didn’t even tell him I had them. I just said, “You. Me. Bedroom. Now.” And suffered through the pain.
As of right now, I am nine weeks pregnant.
But you KNOW I’ve been writing about it since I found out.
Secret blog posts.
Just for YOU.
They are so TMI, it’s not even funny, so if you want to maintain a certain view of me that doesn’t involve my boobs or uterus or GI tract, I suggest you turn away.
Let’s start from the beginning…
So, how could I tell I was pregnant?
(I can’t believe I am pregnant!!)
Okay, so let’s start with ovulation.
I had been on birth control for about 10 years before I went off it in April 2016. It took until NOVEMBER for me to get my period back. Yeah, eight months. I wrote a post warning you about birth control.
When that period did finally come in November, it was very light and only lasted two days.
Then, I had a semi-light four-day period in December. Forty-five days later.
I had always assumed I would be irregular once I went off the pill, but jeeze!
Anyway, about four weeks after that December period, I had really sharp pains in the lower right side of my pelvic area (AKA my right ovary). The pain was SHARP, unlike normal cramps, and somehow I just knew it wasn’t oncoming-period cramps. I had such a strong feeling that I was ovulating that, despite the pain, I forced Husband to have sex with me.
You can’t force the willing.
The next day, I started to experience extremely sensitive nipples.
This went on and on for, like, five days.
Finally, I texted my friend who had been pregnant before and asked her to explain specifically how her breasts hurt in her early pregnancy.
I said, “Was it the nipples?”
And she said, “Yes! My nipples were so sore and that was my very first indicator before I even missed a period.”
So I was like
YES I MIGHT FINALLY BE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!
Then the nipple soreness kind of died down. I mean, they weren’t CRAZY sore a week later. Not like they had been. They were just barely sensitive.
And I was getting sad, thinking that nipple soreness was just a sign of ovulation for me and nothing else. That my nipple soreness had nothing to do with me being pregnant.
I decided, though, that I would be happy to know that nipple soreness indicated ovulation, just for future tracking.
Anyway, two weeks after that sharp right-side pain and nipple soreness happened, I was nearing the day that my period would arrive. Of course, this was according to my TWO periods I’d had, and the fact that they were 45 days apart.
About 2-3 days before my expected period date drew near, I started to notice really mild cramping…on the other side of my pelvic region.
This was REALLY WEIRD to me.
I mean, cramping on the other side? A week and a half later? That didn’t make any sense.
So I chalked it up to period cramps, because I knew I wasn’t pregnant.
Also, I had taken a pregnancy test three days before those mild cramps started, and it was negative. BOOOOOOO!!
But then…my nipples started to get sore again. A few days before my “expected period.”
And I was like oh come ON body, nipple soreness when ovulating AND when getting my period?!
I waited a few more days for my period to come.
Day 43 came and went.
Day 44 passed without a period (as expected).
Day 45 came and went, still no period.
AND, to make things stranger, the night of day 45, I thought to myself, “I think I seriously just peed 6 times in the past hour.”
(Frequent urination can be a sign of early pregnancy.)
Mind you, peeing constantly isn’t exactly strange for me, since I drink a ton of water. But still, I noticed.
I told myself that if I didn’t have my period by morning, I would take a test.
So, that morning, I woke up, nipples still sore, and took a test.
And it was positive.
And I just sat on the toilet and stared at that thing with my eyeballs bugging out of my head.
Panic seized my chest and a HUGE HUGE grin spread across my face.
Then I gasped about 10 times in a row and got up and set the test on the counter. And I paced the bathroom and put my hands on my head and looked and baby Rucker and said, “Baby Rucker! I’M PREGNANT!”
Then I took this picture so I could always remember how I felt the moment I first found out I was pregnant:
I am going to be a mom. A mother. It is still so surreal.
Me! A mom!
That pregnancy test wasn’t just a faint positive, either. It was a Big Fat Positive.
In the pregnancy online world, the acronym is BFP. There are a TON of acronyms in the online pregnancy world.
I would know, because I spent the past MONTH online trying to determine if my “symptoms” meant anything.
I immediately took two more tests and those were both BFPs, too. I have a test stash. If you need a pregnancy test, I’ve got ten to spare.
Then, I immediately downloaded four pregnancy apps on my phone to replace the three trying-to-get-pregnant apps I already had.
So, what other early pregnancy signs did I have?
Well, for one, I kept getting VERY VERY HOT.
One day, I was vacuuming, and I had to take off my pants. Immediately. I was that warm. It was an emergency.
If Husband turns the thermostat above 68 degrees in the morning, I wake up blanket-less and sweating.
Speaking of bedtime, I was sleeping a good 10 hours every night.
I wasn’t too tired during the day, but I definitely sat around a lot. And I did not work out ONCE. Ahh, the leisures of being a Stay At Home Wife.
Also, and I would warn you that this is TMI, but you and I both know we are well beyond that point: whenever I orgasmed, I had cramps in the center of my pelvic region (read: uterus).
I looked THAT one up, and that was a definite sign of early pregnancy. You see, when the uterus is stretching and moving around to accommodate your new blastocyst, any kind of “spasm” will cause your morphing uterus to contract (AKA cramp up).
Another early pregnancy sign: my boobs were really veiny. Kinda cool looking, actually.
Also, my boobs looked great. Like real, full boobs. I looked at them in the mirror a lot, approvingly.
I also had indigestion. You know how when you eat weird food, your insides go kind of haywire for a while? I had lots of indigestion, but I was eating the exact same foods I usually did, if not MILDER foods.
Also…sometimes, I would get SO SO SO SO UPSET that I wasn’t pregnant already. Like, irrationally upset. I could have burst into tears just thinking about how un-pregnant I was.
I appreciate the irony.
Or, I would get SO MAD at baby Rucker really quickly. One minute I would calmly say, “Stop it, Rucker,” and the next I was staring daggers into him like he was Satan.
I kept having VERY VIVID DREAMS, especially cigarette-smoking dreams. Remember? I quit a few years ago, and I wrote a post about it.
If you’ve ever quit smoking, you know that dreams involving you smoking are the WORST. They are filled with anxiety and shame and disappointment in oneself.
I keep having those dreams. And other dreams.
My dreams are SO REAL these days.
When I am not having dreams about gunning through a pack of cigs in one day, I have other dreams about making out with strangers.
I remember a LOT of my dreams, now.
So, those were the early pregnancy signs that I researched well into the night when I thought I was pregnant.
HERE ARE THE EARLY PREGNANCY SIGNS THAT I DIDN’T HAVE THAT I THOUGHT I SHOULD HAVE HAD:
No sore breasts. Only my nipples were sore.
I was NOT very fatigued. At least not yet. So that told me I wasn’t pregnant.
Also, my areolas weren’t darkening in any way. Or were they? Honestly I was scrutinizing my body every day for signs and discounted many things I noticed just to protect myself against disappointment.
I didn’t feel ill or nauseous. I felt perfectly fine.
My appetite was normal. I didn’t want any extra food or anything. Though I did notice that, when I was hungry, I could eat a LOT. Remember? I was doing the 21 Day Fix. So most of my containers would go in my mouth before noon hit. Okay, maybe I was kind of hungry in the beginning.
No frequent urination. At least nothing out of the usual until day 45 night.
I just keep stopping myself while writing this post and staring off into the distance thinking, “I can’t believe I’m pregnant.”
I totally believed the first test I took, because it was such a crazy positive, and according to everyone in every book and online forum, there can easily be a false negative, but if you see even a hint of a positive, you’re pregnant.
So, you know how I wanted to go on that wine tour trip with my BFFs?
Well, I wasn’t going to CANCEL an amazing weekend with my ladies. Plus, what a great opportunity to surprise all of them!
I used that wine trip to surprise them.
How did I surprise them?
I gave them mini wine bottles with little notes.
When I gave them these bottles, I tricked them by saying, “This is to commemorate our amazing trip!”
But the notes REALLY said things like, “Have a glass on me…I can’t – I’m a mom to be!”
And, “Enjoy this glass of wine…None for me until after month nine!”
Aren’t I adorable?
One friend screamed, “SHUT THE F*&K UP!” and started crying. That was the best reaction of all of them.
So how did I tell Husband?
Well, I didn’t have a clue how to do it, at first.
I wanted it to be GRAND, MONUMENTOUS. But all my ideas sucked. Most importantly, I didn’t want to give it away before I got to the punch line, so I couldn’t exactly decorate my house in streamers like I originally wanted to.
So, I decided I would wrap up a tiny seed/morsel that was the same size as our baby and give it to him as a present and see if he could figure it out.
To do that, I had to figure out how far along I was.
Did you know? They determine your due date by counting forward from the first day of your last period. Yeah! Apparently you’re cooking a baby well before you even get pregnant.
This just doesn’t make sense to me. How can I be four weeks pregnant if the sperm didn’t meet the egg until two weeks ago?
I am sure it’s because that’s how long the egg took to start developing before it matured and popped out into your fallopian tube. So it’s probably the egg’s age.
If you have irregular periods like me, how the heck do you find out how far along you are?
Honestly, I still don’t know.
If you go off my last period, the day I took the pregnancy test would be the day I was 6 and a half weeks along.
But, like I said, I am very irregular. So if we pretend that I have a 28-day cycle and we count two weeks back from when I am pretty sure I ovulated, I would have been 4 and a half weeks along when I took the Big Fat Positive test. That would have made a lot more sense for my symptoms, which were very mild compared to women who are further along.
Here I am, probably 4.5 weeks pregnant. Since this is my first pregnancy, I won’t start showing for a WHILE. But how could I resist taking a picture?!
Anyway, because it was absolutely impossible to keep this a secret, I decided to tell Husband I was pregnant the same day I took the three pregnancy tests.
If I was really four and a half weeks along, our baby would be the size of a poppy seed.
Should I bake him lemon poppy seed muffins?
That was my best idea.
I finally decided to do it the cliché (but absolutely most fun) way and show him the positive pregnancy tests.
Can’t beat this method.
I taped them down inside a box and then put a bunch of tissue paper on top. I closed the box and I wrapped it.
And when he got home, I played it off totally nonchalantly and I told him that I had been working on a surprise for him (get it?), and I wanted to give it to him before he left for SERE school, because I thought it would help him get through the hardest moments.
Do you see these cute plays on words here?
And I told him that he couldn’t take it with him, obviously, but he could enjoy it when he got back.
I was really amusing myself.
So he unwrapped it.
And he was SHOCKED.
He had NO IDEA there were pregnancy tests inside that box.
And he smiled and said, “Are you serious?!” over and over again.
And he said things like “Really?” and “Wow!” and “I was NOT expecting that!”
And I cried like a baby and he hugged me.
Seriously, totally worth it, presenting my pregnancy to him like that and seeing genuine surprise.
It was SO MUCH FUN telling him I was pregnant that I changed my mind about waiting to tell everyone else until I went home to Michigan a few weeks later.
We decided that we needed to call everyone and tell them immediately.
I called my mom first.
She gasped and cried and cheered! I was also gasping and crying and cheering.
Then we worked our way down the line of other family members.
Husband’s mom screamed her head off and it was AWESOME.
There is truly nothing more fun on this planet than telling your family members and friends that you’re expecting a baby!
I mean it.
I told Husband that I wish we had more friends so we could tell more people!
Gosh, everyone’s reactions just made my heart SOAR.
What a day that was. What a day.
The following day, my mother insisted I call the lab to see if the test I took the day prior came back.
Oh, did I mention? We called the doctor on Pregnancy Test Day, and they said I had to come in and take a pregnancy test there before my primary physician would refer me to an OBGYN.
I went in and took the test, and a FULL 24 hours later, I still hadn’t heard anything, which was unacceptable to me (and my mom) since it was just a urine test.
So I called back the next day and the lab refused to give me the results over the phone (can’t blame me for trying).
So I called my physician’s office and guess what?
I’m definitely pregnant!
So, after that, I had to wait 2-4 more days before calling my health insurance company to see who they approved for my OB.
By then, I would be cruising along in the my Honda to Michigan to see my family and friends for three weeks, so I would miss out on the chance to squeeze myself into an OB appointment before I left.
On the positive side, they did fill my prenatal prescription immediately, and for free!
It was really just a waiting game after all of that. Lots of waiting. And worrying.
LOTS OF WORRYING.
Did I mention all of the bouts of insomnia I had?
Insomnia came from anxiety that, now that we had told everyone I was pregnant, I would miscarry.
The miscarriage fear is very real and VERY realistic.
Seriously, in one of my favorite pregnancy books, Expecting Better, the author says that about half of all pregnancies fail at the point I’m at (4.5 weeks).
The thing is, I still wanted to tell everyone, even though I knew the risks.
One, because I was way too excited to keep it to myself.
Two, because, if I miscarry, everyone’s going to know about it anyway, so I might as well include everyone in on the ride right in the beginning!
I’ll leave you on that terrifying note.
But remember, I am nine weeks pregnant, so don’t be too scared.
Keep your eyes peeled for another post THIS WEEK with more pregnancy updates!!!! After all, I have FOUR WEEKS to fill you in on.
That post is already written.
You’ll get it ASAP.
And now that you know I’m pregnant, I’m telling you EVERYTHING!!!
Stay tuned for more Baby McInnis updates!