Hello, hello, everyone!

 

I received a lot of heartwarming messages and kind sentiments regarding my Blog Shut-down announcement last week, and I just need you to know that I really, really love you all.

 

35 weeks!!! Can you believe it?!?!?

 

I’ve got a LOT to fill you in on.

 

First, let’s get the stats out of the way.

 

At 35 weeks, Baby is the size of a…

Bunch of carrots

Spaghetti squash

Pineapple

Giant mongoose

 

Okay, I made that last one up.

But that’s what she FEELS LIKE in there.

A wily mongoose trying to break free.

 

Here’s her 35-week-old hand:

35 weeks pregnant

 

And foot:

35 weeks pregnant

 

And here’s 35-weeks-pregnant Brooke:

35 weeks pregnant

 

35 weeks pregnant

 

I’ve got lots of unhappy stretch marks all over my love handles and below my belly button, but honestly, I don’t even care!

I really don’t!

They are just on me now, so it’s not like covering them up will do me any good. Plus, they will fade with time, and I have more important things to worry about, like the size of my gigantic baby.

 

My apps tell me Baby Girl is around 19-20″ long this week and about 5.5 pounds, but since I had an OB appointment this week, I know that she’s actually…..

 

6 pounds 1 ounce.

At 34 weeks and 6 days.

60% percentile.

Of course, that’s according to guesses made via ultrasound, which are usually highly inaccurate.

 

MORE ACCURATE is a fundal height measure (where the doctor takes a measuring tape and measures the size of your bump from the top of your uterus to the bottom).

As you all know, Baby’s been measuring right on track for the past few months…..

Well…….

At 34 weeks and 6 days, we found out that I was measuring 37 weeks via fundal height.

 

UH……

 

Doctors didn’t seem too alarmed, but since I got stuck when I tried to make my 10-pound-3-ounce debut into the world, I was concerned.

 

Either way, I will be returning to my OB once a week from here until the very end, because I’ve been experiencing lots of intense cramping/contractions that come and go, and the doctor figures it’s safer to just have me come in weekly from now on.

 

I am still 100% NOT dilated OR effaced.

 

Which makes no sense to me, because I’m pretty sure I almost had the baby while I was driving my car home from Michigan with all the cramping and contractions I experienced.

What the heck, body?!

Just get ready for birth, already!

 

I should probably tell you that I’ve decided to be induced at 39 weeks.

This is so that Husband can be there for the birth (he doesn’t get any time off down here), and so that we can schedule my mom’s flight down here.

And also so that this gigantic baby doesn’t get stuck trying to come out.

I have made the choice to be induced and I’m sticking with it. I understand that my choice increases my chance of having an emergency C-section. I am still choosing to be induced.

 

SO

 

To prepare myself as much as possible for that, I am doing everything I can to tell my body IT’S TIME TO DELIVER BABY so that I am primed for induction.

 

First up: Evening Primrose Oil.

 

You take it in capsules. Orally. Or at least I am taking it orally. Other moms poke a hole in the pill and insert it vaginally. That just sounds a little too risky to me, so I’ll keep taking it orally.

Evening Primrose Oil does NOT send you into labor. It only helps you along in dilating and effacing your cervix. But only if your body is ready for that business to start.

So, really, it’s a crapshoot.

 

What else am I doing?

Eating lots of dates.

Supposedly they help get your body ready for an expedient birth.

 

What else?

Red raspberry leaf tea.

This supposedly helps “tone the uterus” to make contractions more efficient when the time comes.

 

What else?

Sex, and lots of it, because the prostaglandins in sperm help dilate/efface you. Husband doesn’t seem to mind.

 

Did you know?

I’m huge.

Gigantic.

Rock-body-back-and-forth-before-propelling-body-to-standing-position gigantic.

 

However, as of 35 weeks and 2 days, I’m only up 24 pounds, which I think is amazing and should earn me a gold star.

(My gold star will be the measly ____ pounds I have to lose post-birth.)

Tried on my pre-pregnancy skinny jeans again the other day. I can still get them over my butt! Buttoning them is out of the question, though.

 

ANYWAY, to wrap up the induction talk: I’m going to keep doing all of these “natural induction” methods in hopes that they bring Baby into this world naturally before 39 weeks.

But, since these are all natural (and totally unproven) methods, there’s really no telling if they’ll work.

 

PLEASE KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED THAT THEY WORK AND THAT I CAN GIVE BIRTH TO THIS BABY NATURALLY AT 38.5 WEEKS AND TOTALLY AVOID A MEDICAL INDUCTION.

 

Are there any tricks I’m missing? Please share in the comments!

 

So, how have I been doing as a giant, baby-carting whale?

35 weeks pregnant

Not well, folks. Not well.

 

I am DYING over here.

 

Nothing is easy. Everything causes strain.

I worry if she isn’t moving enough. I worry if I feel cervical pain. I worry about hurricane Irma.

 

Walking long distances is out of the question, now, because I get abdominal cramps ALL OVER MY BELLY when I do and they are breath-haltingly painful.

So now I just walk short distances. And I do things like launder clothes and vacuum and I call those things “exercise” because I pant like a slab of meatloaf whenever I do them.

 

What I WANT to do is sit my heavy body on a couch/chair/the carpet and wait for Baby Girl to come. But I hear that walking can bring her into this world more quickly, and there’s no incentive like Giving Birth Incentive to a woman who is nine months pregnant.

 

I just can’t wait to meet her!

 

Look at this cute developmental spread of ultrasound photos:

35 weeks pregnant

 

Remember when she was just a wiggling gummy bear?

Now, she’s a full human.

Pregnancy is crazy. Human procreation is crazy.

 

I love her so much I could explode.

COME ON OUT, Baby Girl!

 

So, I spent the remainder of week 35 worrying about whether I was going to have to evacuate Fort Rucker because of hurricane Irma.

 

We had a friend who lives in Tampa come stay with us for three days to avoid being blown away in the storm. She brought her little Yorkie, Lido, with her.

Love Lido.

 

Want to know who else loves Lido?

Rucker.

Rucker loves Lido like a cat loves a mouse, though, so Lido went from a yippy ball of energy to a depressed, cower-in-the-corner puppy quite quickly.

Rucker is such a jerk to small animals.

He’s just so LARGE and HEAVY and he doesn’t realize that pouncing on a small dog is dangerous for that small dog.

 

Either way, he had a good time terrorizing Lido, and Lido was happy to leave once the hurricane had passed.

 

I was happy to have my house back.

I love having my house to myself.

I’m really going to soak it in as much as possible before Baby Girl gets here.

 

I told you last week that I’m deactivating my blog after Baby is born because I’ll be going back to school to become a nurse.

Sister told me (Sister is a nurse) that all of her nurse coworkers think I’ll change my mind about becoming a nurse after I have Baby Girl.

They think my obsession with my infant will derail my Back to School plans.

Ha!

While that idea sounds nice, the truth is that as much as I’d love to sit around and stare at my darling infant all day, eventually, that infant will go to school and grow up and leave me in the dust.

And then what will I do with myself?

I’ll go to work at the hospital because I’ll be a nurse by then. That’s what I’ll do.

 

I KNOW it’s going to be SO HARD to go to school full-time and work and pry myself away from my baby’s perfect face, but facts are facts and my facts are that I need to pursue a new career because it’s time to do something else with my life.

I REALLY want to be an E.R. nurse.

Or is it E.D. nurse?

Nurse who works in the E.D.?

 

I want to work in the very-stressful-and-intense environment that is an emergency department in a hospital, because I think I would just LOVE the pressure.

So, that’s my goal!

 

I told Husband that when Baby Girl is mad/sad because mom’s not around because mom is studying or working, he has to tell Baby Girl that mom is doing all of these things so that mom can be the very best version of herself for Baby Girl.

He promised me he would tell her this for me.

*sob*

 

I’ve already made up my mind about nursing school, and if you know anything about me, you know that Brooke’s mind doesn’t change once it’s made up.

 

Anyway, I must get going, because I have my weekly OB appointment to attend and I am going to demand a cervical check to see if all this Primrose Oil and sex and date-eating and walking has helped dilate me at all.

 

Stay tuned for week 36’s post! And keep those fingers crossed that Baby Girl comes early!

 

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