(If you want to start at the beginning of my pregnancy journey, click here!)

 

Ahhhh! I’m fourteen weeks along! I feel so pregnant, now!

 

It’s hard to explain, but since we pregnant ladies aren’t exactly GLOBES when we’re in the early stages of pregnancy, it takes a while for us to really come to grips with the fact that we’re pregnant.

Climbing weekly numbers do just the trick.

I’m almost 15 weeks! See?

 

During week 14, baby is the size of a…

Beet

Toy troll (you know, the ones with the crazy neon hair spiking out of their heads)

Large lemon.

Large peach.

 

Seriously?

Seriously, that’s what my pregnancy apps all told me this week. Last week, baby was the size of a lemon or a peach. This week, baby is just a larger version of these fruits? Wtf? And a beet? Beets come in so many sizes! Dwight would be appalled.

 

Anyway, baby is 3.5 inches long.

(3.4 inches, technically, but we pregnant women like to round up on the size of our babies and how far along we are.)

 

Two important things are happening to Baby week 14:

  1. Baby is developing lanugo, which is hair all over its body. This keeps it warm until it gets nice and plump. Most babies shed it before birth, but you might greet a monkey in the delivery room.
  2. Baby can hear mom’s voice, now!!!!!! That’s what my Ovia app said. Can you believe that?! Baby can hear my voice! Nothing I’m saying makes any sense to her, but from this point forward, I’m adopting a calm, serene voice 24/7.

Ha!

 

Anyway, this is the size of Baby’s hand during week 14:

Week fourteen of pregnancy and this is the size of baby's hand!

 

And this is the size of mom.

(Warning: I’m HUGE.)

The left is me letting it all hang out. The right is me sucking in AS MUCH AS I POSSIBLY CAN. Just to keep things in perspective for you.

14 weeks pregnant. Yup.

 

THAT WAS AFTER A LIGHT BREAKFAST AND A WORKOUT.

SO IT’S NOT LIKE I WAS STUFFED FULL OF SALSA (like I was later in the day).

 

Go ahead! Laugh at my Boxer Shorts Workout Gear! My sister did!

Keep laughing until I tell you that I actually worked out in my underwear. Shorts were added on for the photo.

Ha!

It’s too hot for a pregnant woman to work out in pants.

 

Don’t you just love the belly?

I love it so much.

Because now, I’m starting to tip toward the “definitely pregnant” side of the Eye Scale and away from the “just fat” side of the Eye Scale.

 

Actually looking pregnant really helps lift my self-esteem, which was at an all-pregnancy-LOW last week.

 

 

Another thing that’s great is that my arms are the same size. And I’m pretty sure my LOWER legs haven’t been this toned in months. Thanks, workouts!

 

The scale keeps climbing.

And climbing.

I’m not even going to tell you how much I weigh until the END of week 14.

(I’m up 2 more pounds at the start. So 9 pounds gained so far during this pregnancy!)

 

Update: I am up 8 pounds at the end of week 14. Hallelujah, I didn’t gain any weight this week. I’m surprised. Aren’t you surprised?

 

Week 14 pregnancy symptoms:

BLOODY NOSES. My goodness, I had no idea how much I could bleed from my nose. Vascularity is a big pregnancy symptom, which means if you cut yourself or you do anything to disturb the thin membranes all over your body (like your nasal passages while sneezing, or your cervix during sex), blood will ensue.

Also, everything is swollen because of the extra blood you’re carrying around (40-50%!). Which makes you even more susceptible to bleeding.

No bleeding after sex for me except for once in the early weeks.

THE NOSE BLEEDS, HOWEVER, are almost DAILY.

All I have to do is blow my nose. Or work out. Or look at Rucker the wrong way.

First nose bleed was smack dab in the middle of a grueling workout. I was really pushing myself. Probably why a waterfall poured out of my nose halfway through.

I screamed, “Ahhh!”

And I tried to scoop it off my chest before it collected in my sports bra. No luck. Blood everywhere.

Husband came into the room and I told him I was dying.

 

This is me, now, every single day:

Nose bleeds are a common pregnancy symptom.

 

Seriously, if I hadn’t spent the first three weeks of my pregnancy researching everything there is to know about pregnancy, I would have had so many panics by now.

Nosebleeds = common.

Seeing black spots/being dizzy = common.

Developing a temporary case of narcolepsy = common.

Extremely blurry vision = common.

 

And those are just a FEW of the weird symptoms I’ve had.

The bloody noses are just ridiculous, though.

Toward the end of week 14, they did start to taper off.

For now.

 

My other symptom is tail bone soreness. It’s really weird. It’s just REALLY SORE.

At first, I thought it was just because I was sitting on my butt so often.

But then I was like, I’ve been sitting on my butt my whole life and never had any problems?

Turns out, tail bone soreness is a legitimate pregnancy symptom.

And you thought you had seen it all!

The hormones relaxin AND estrogen release during pregnancy, and both of them help loosen up your joints and ligaments so it’s easier for you to grow and for baby to slide out of you.

The ligaments around your tail bone loosen, too, making it easier for your coccyx to slide around = tail bone pain.

So weird!

And painful.

 

I skipped a few workout days to see if it helped, and it did. You should be really careful working out while pregnant. You think you’re the stretchiest string bean in town, but, really, it’s just your hormones relaxing EVERYTHING in your body, which means you could really hurt/strain yourself if you push too far.

Listen to thy growing, ballooning body.

 

Another symptom: itchy boobs. Itchy boobs, itchy boobs, itchy boobs. Actually, it’s mostly my nipples.

The itches are probably due to stretching skin.

Which means I’ll likely have an itchy stomach.

 

Not to worry, though, because I FINALLY got myself a Target REDcard which means I can buy whatever I want because everything is 5% off with this sucker, which means I F I N A L L Y bought myself some Mama Bee Belly Oil.

Lots of pregnant women have sworn by this stuff for stretch marks.

I KNOW STRETCH MARKS ARE NOT PREVENTABLE. I KNOW THEY ARE GENETIC. I KNOW I WILL GET THEM.

But I can try to minimize them by drinking gallons of water and applying oil to my belly all the time. Plus, applying oil to my belly sounds luxurious, and we pregnant ladies have to find and employ all the luxuries we can.

 

So, um, I must tell you the truth about stretch marks.

I think I found one on my ass.

Yeah, my butt!!!!!!

Already!!!!!!

Truth be told, I think it was there WEEKS ago. But I thought it was a scratch mark or something back then.

Honestly, I have no clue.

I’m even MORE perplexed, because I have seen my butt stretch in short periods of time, WAY more than it’s stretched during this pregnancy. Yet I’ve accumulated zero butt stretch marks my whole life. Until now.

Pregnancy does the weirdest things to your body.

You just have to let go and embrace the changes, because otherwise you are fighting a battle you won’t win, and you will only make yourself miserable.

*reminds self to take self’s own advice*

I am just choosing to embrace my ass stretch mark, because there is nothing I can do about it. And because I don’t have any on my belly yet. I think there’s one on my boob. I’m going to stop hunting for them, though.

I have REALLY soft skin, people. Great for Husband, not so great for moments of intense skin stretching.

 

A friend told me that you could buy fish oil capsules, break them open, and apply them to stretch marks in the AM and the PM.

She said she’s been doing it to some stretch marks she spotted a few weeks ago, and she hasn’t seen any stripe growth since she started this regimen.

It’s worth a shot!!!

 

Another symptom during week 14: FEELING PREGNANT.

Do you want to know what it feels like to have a pregnant belly on you?

It feels like you just ate a large meal, minus the full stomach feeling. Because it’s not in your stomach. It’s in your whole lower abdomen. Sometimes, your whole TORSO feels full.

Your stomach always has room in it, though.

And MAN, can you eat!

 

And when you do eat, you look like this:

14 weeks pregnant. Yup.

 

In fact, if you’re me, there’s nothing you can do to make that belly look smaller. Here I am after a VERY light breakfast and an intense workout:

I swear it's not twins.

 

That’s from my Snapchat. If you want to see more frequent belly shots (and shots of baby Rucker), follow me (Perksofinterest).

 

Speaking of baby Rucker, here he is with his Great Dane-sized stuffed animal. OUTSIDE. Where stuffed animals are NOT allowed. Isn’t he naughty?

Baby Rucker love.

 

And here he and I are, enjoying some sunshine. He’s like a cat. Obsessed with sunshine.

Baby Rucker love.

 

 

I would now like to make a note about torso exercises during pregnancy.

For all of you who exercise: you know how when your abs/obliques are sore, it’s really hard to suck in? So you avoid ab exercises the day before the beach because you want to be able to suck in at the beach?

Well I’ve been doing lots of oblique exercises (because normal abdominal exercise are getting too risky now that Baby is stretching out my stomach), and MAN do sore obliques make me look like a globe!

I don’t even try to hold it in. I just let Baby spill out all over the place.

A sore torso + a BIG torso = I am starting to have to HEAVE myself off the couch these days.

Sometimes, I rest my hands on my burgeoning belly and look at Rucker and say, “What did we get ourselves into, Rucker.”

It’s a rhetorical question, that’s why there’s no question mark.

 

Can you believe how big my belly is already?

Do you know what this means?

It means I will be H U M O N G O U S when I am full-term.

Get ready, world!

 

On that note, here is another diagram showing you what happens to all of our organs as we pregnant ladies grow life inside us:

Pregnancy baby bump diagram.

Pregnancy baby bump diagram.

 

Look at those intestines! Just shoved up and out of the way! It’s amazing that our bodies still function toward the end of pregnancy.

 

I’ll be 31 weeks at my bridal shower. With the belly I already have, you know I’ll be huge by then.

 

You’ll have to clear passageways for me at my bridal shower, or else I will bowl you over.

Mom, make a note.

 

My mom tells me I look like I’m carrying twins.

I’m not offended, because she’s right.

And I know for a fact she won’t be the only one to tell me so.

(That doesn’t mean you can tell me I look like I’m carrying twins!!!)

 

Also, I have to attend Brother-In-Laws wedding when I’ll be 35 weeks pregnant.

Hopefully there exists a pink camping tent out there, because that’s the only thing I’ll fit into at 35 weeks!

 

I can’t wait to be huge.

Remind me that I said that when I’m 35+ weeks.

And don’t expect me to get up off my chair at that wedding!!

 

Did I mention that my mom bought more clothes for Baby Girl McInnis?

MORE CLOTHES.

 

ADORABLE CLOTHES.

Baby girl clothes!

I can’t even stand looking at these pictures because they are so cute. And at the same time, they make me so happy I could just throw a hissy fit.

Sanity is slowly seeping out of me, people.

 

When I was a little girl, I would change my outfit about five times a day. Neither my mother nor I have any idea why I did this. My only hope is that my baby girl does the same, because she has quite the wardrobe to show off.

Baby girl clothes!

Can’t you just see her running around a zoo in that adorable little outfit? With her little white cardigan, to boot?

 

And this one.

Baby girl clothes!

 

THOSE HEARTS ARE SPARKLY.

Baby girl clothes!

 

AHH.

The only thing I love just as much as sparkles are TUTUS.

Tutu dresses.

Baby girl clothes!

 

I am so obsessed with this dress I might make one for myself.

 

And look at these sleepers!!!

Baby girl clothes!

I love, love, love those patterns.

 

And now…for the full zip-up outfits.

These are all winners in my book because they are ADORABLE and because Baby Girl McInnis will be able to wear them if we go for evening strolls or have bonfires or for any reason whatsoever.

Baby girl clothes!

 

Baby girl clothes!

 

Don’t you already want to snuggle her, just looking at these outfits?

 

Look at this one.

FLEECE. And SCOTTY DOGS WITH COLORFUL BOWS AROUND THEIR NECKS.

I’ve died and gone to heaven.

Baby girl clothes!

 

And last but not least, look at this.

Baby girl clothes!

 

It’s not even fair for boys, how cute girl clothes are. I want that sweatshirt for myself!!!!

 

UGH, it’s so hard being so pregnant and just wanting to squeeze everything to death and also tear everything apart for no reason!

It’s like there is a happy tornado inside me that sometimes is an angry tornado.

I am a walking hurricane of emotion.

 

Did you think I was done showing you baby clothes?

I did, too, until my mom bought Baby Girl McInnis more clothes during week 14.

 

I’ve said before that I am obsessed with flamingos. The obsession started with these flamingo crib sheets Target claimed to have but were completely out of ONLINE and IN STORE. Even though they are still listed as available for purchase in Target’s online store, you couldn’t buy those flamingo crib sheets if your life depended on it.

That’s what makes flamingo clothes so delightful. Because I can actually have them, and because I can cover my baby in them.

Baby Girl outfits are the cutest in all the land.

 

I can so easily picture her waddling around in these things. And sitting in these things. Hopefully she has hair by then, so I can put it in pigtails.

 

I was born bald. In April.

By Christmas, my mom was Elmer’s gluing bows to my STILL BALD head.

We don’t have high hopes for Baby Girl McInnis coming out with hair.

 

Now, feast your eyes on this changing pad cover!!!

Kitty changing pad cover.

 

I would NOT have been able to resist buying that, if I saw it myself.

Look at those pointy ears! They are just going to point off the end of the changing pad and I love it!

 

She also bought ANOTHER TUTU DRESS FOR BABY GIRL MCINNIS.

Baby girl clothes!

 

AHHHHHHHHHH.

My mom is the ultimate baby shopper.

 

She also had gifts for Baby Girl McInnis sent to MY HOUSE.

Girl Hangers!

 

Not only did she send hangers, she sent the PINK CLOSET ORGANIZER I REGISTERED FOR!!!!!!

 

I’m not going to show you a picture of it until we set it up, which we are going to do THIS WEEK BECAUSE MY MOM IS COMING TO VISIT ME THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!

 

She will be here TODAY!!!!!!

 

I can hardly stand the anticipation!

We are going to have SO MUCH FUN baby shopping and food shopping and sitting on our butts.

 

I just love her.

Just imagine how great week 15’s blog post is going to be, after all the adventures we have!

 

Best of all, the *$^#*(! couch Husband and I bought in early March will FINALLY be arriving tomorrow.

No more uncomfortable futon!

Mom and I are going to park our butts on that new squishy couch and never move except to go shopping.

 

Now, I must be off to vacuum my floors, pick up Rucker’s toys (again), and retrieve my wonderful mom from the airport!!!!!

 

See you in a week!

 

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