No, this is not some PLOY to incite your curiosity and then disappoint you with reality.
Because the reality is that Husband is REALLY going to be tortured and I am REALLY fleeing.
You see, Husband is in flight school down here in Fort Rucker, and a requirement of flight school is his completion of something called SERE School.
S – Survival
E – Evasion
R – Resistance
E – Escape
I don’t know much about SERE School, but I do know that it lasts for WEEKS.
I also know that Husband will be forced into torturous circumstances and that he must try to come out alive.
Think: that show called Naked and Afraid.
Think: rumors indicate that those in charge are allowed to break TWO BONES per soldier at this school.
Doesn’t that make you want to hurl?
The point of SERE School is to train Husband to survive behind enemy lines should he ever find himself in such an unfortunate situation.
Because the thought of Husband being shut in a BOX for ten days makes me want to throw up, I am FLEEING.
Can you guess where I am fleeing to?
I am finally returning.
It’s been less than a month, you say.
Well, it will have been TWO months by the time I get there, and that is plenty long for me.
Mostly, though, I don’t want to sit around my lonely Alabama house and stare at Rucker and wonder if Husband’s getting punched in the face at that moment.
I will spend the entire length of SERE School in Michigan.
Because I have a rapidly growing sidekick and because I have never driven cross-country on my own before, Husband’s parents have graciously agreed to fly down here and drive back to Michigan with me.
I really hit the lottery on in-laws. Some people have the WORST in-laws, and I am not one of those people.
I will bring my dog to Michigan where I will make everyone poke and prod him, and I will also bring him around lots of other dogs so he gets a nice dose of socialization.
Baby Rucker is attached to my hip, and it drives Husband crazy.
I just laugh, because what am I supposed to do?
I am around this adorable beast 24/7. Of course he’s going to trot after me when I walk down the hallway.
He kind of runs from Husband.
Seriously, he does.
Husband is like, “WHY ARE YOU SCARED OF ME?!”
And I am like, “If you put me in a headlock every time I saw you, I’d run, too!”
I keep telling Husband that he needs to speak Rucker’s language.
Rucker’s language = snuggles, pets, giggles, tickles, snuggles, and baby voices. Are you reading this, Michigan people?
Rucker is NOT a bruiser.
Rucker can take about 20 seconds of “rough play” before he walks to the other side of the room and lies down (seriously).
He’s just not aggressive.
Poor Husband. All he wants is a dog he can wrestle with.
Maybe Rucker will get there someday…
In the meantime, Rucker has made a COMPLETE 180 TRANSFORMATION ON LEASH WALKING.
Remember? Rucker used to suck at walking on his leash.
Well, ever since his last class, where he learned to walk on one side of Husband/me without dragging or pulling, he has been a dream to walk!
Here is a picture I took immediately following his first successful walk. I had to capture the moment.
I don’t think it was JUST the class that made him walk well, though.
I think, like my brilliant sister-in-law suggested, that he just had to grow into liking walks.
Now, he trots right alongside me. Not in front or behind. Sometimes he strays, but he returns immediately when I ask him to.
This dog is a DREAM.
And my sister HATES me.
Why would your sister hate your good fortune? you ask.
Well, because she has a MONSTER for a dog.
It’s not 100% her fault. Only, like, 85%.
The reason why her complete lack of training and resulting monster dog is not 100% her fault is because she has a boxer. So she already started with the impossible. You add in a passive mother and you get a totally untrained nightmare of a dog.
She is reading this right now and fuming. And I am giggling.
If you’ve ever been around a boxer, you can imagine why they might be difficult to train. Boxers are NUTS.
A boxer would require 120% vigilance 24/7 to train.
Rucker has minimal energy stores. Seriously, he’s sleeping right now, and he just slept 12 hours through the night.
Boxers are spastic lunatics. As are many other dogs. But boxers, especially. Their energies never deplete.
Also, my sister is the size of a fourth grader, so she is really fighting an uphill battle with that dog.
It seems only natural that she would hate me when I tell her that it took 2 weeks to potty train Rucker, and that Rucker walks nicely on his leash.
I took that boxer of hers (her boxer’s name is Harley) on a walk once, and it was a NIGHTMARE.
I was wearing Uggs on snow-covered sidewalks, which was really unfortunate because Harley pulled me EVERYWHERE and Uggs have zero traction.
Harley is the worst.
Good thing she is SO CUTE. Also, she is the best snuggler.
But she’s a reckless tornado.
Speaking of cute, Rucker is getting cuter by the day.
I mean it.
I think he’s even cuter now than he was as a puppy.
He’s got these huge floppy ears that are always cold and thus excellent for touching.
I am obsessed with ears. Dogs and humans tie for first in the Ear Department.
Also, Rucker is always trotting all over the house like a miniature show pony.
Except he’s not so miniature anymore.
This dog is growing faster than any dog I’ve ever seen.
This is a pic of Rucker just chilling on my shoulder. He literally has his arm on my shoulder like a “bro.”
I can’t wait to bring him back to Michigan so everyone can play with him.
So, what am I going to do between now and
SERE School my Michigan vacation?
Well, I’m going to do another round of the 21 Day Fix!
I also did a VEGAN 21 Day Fix round and blogged about that.
I’m not going to blog about this round, because it will be exactly the same as the first round (except maybe less exercise…?).
That probably won’t happen, because I’m not going to go as extreme with it.
Or WILL I?
On an absolutely CRUCIAL side-note, I made the most delicious meal I’ve EVER MADE the other day.
Here’s a pic of the final result:
It was EXTREMELY labor-intensive (you have to cook each piece of chicken individually, so it’s done in batches), but the FLAVOR = absolutely worth it.
If you’re trying to impress someone with your cooking skills, may I suggest this recipe? Because it’s easy, and you’ll be deemed a kitchen goddess after the first bite.
Husband said this sweet and sour chicken was even better than my tacos, which is hard to imagine because those tacos blow EVERYONE’S MIND.
I must divulge: I used cornstarch instead of arrowroot powder, which probably made my final result not paleo? Which didn’t matter to me, because I am not eating paleo right now.
So…guess what I will be doing while I am home in Michigan???
I AM GOING TO GO ON MY VERY FIRST WINE TOUR EVER!!!!!!!
I have always wanted to go on a wine tour. In Michigan, these are extremely popular. Especially in the north-western part of the mitten.
I am going to spend one Saturday/Sunday in Traverse City with my best friends, and we are going to start the day off with a limo-chauffered WINE TOUR at 10 in the morning!
It’s going to be awesome!
Then, we will stay in a cute hotel with a hot tub and sauna.
That weekend is just gearing up to be Top Ten.
The best friend who edited my eBook for me is the one who put all of this together for us ladies.
She bartered over the phone with these people to get us a CHEAPER tour in an upgraded car. She’s the sh*t.
I can’t believe that I am going to do this.
I have dreamed about this for a long time.
It’s going to be so, so, so, so fun!
Apparently, we can ask the driver to take us to specific wineries, or the driver will just take us wherever he/she recommends!
Do YOU have any Traverse City winery recommendations?
This wine tour is just one of the things I will be doing while I am home.
I will also be hanging out with my mother and my kitties and baking and being 100% blissfully happy doing just that.
Now, I’m off to the kitchen to cook myself two eggs for breakfast (1 red). 😉
See you later!